I have been reading books by Mark Batterson lately. He is a gifted writer. Many things that he says in his books are "Christianity:101" common sense; yet HOW he says them are just eye (and heart) opening. I have been a Christian for most of my life, but sometimes (many times) I need these reminders.
Recently I had something happen to me that shook me to my core. I literally felt like someone had punched me in the gut until I could no longer breathe...and then continued to kick me while I was down. For days I walked around in a pathetic state of disbelief and confusion. What happened took me so off guard and came from what I thought was way out of no where. I'm still processing and dealing with these things; yet God is good. Through this low point in my life, I have had to turn to God more than I have had to in years. I had to get to a place of complete on my face before God brokenness in order to see some other areas of my life that I need to work on. It's at those low places where you start seeing things from a different perspective.
I couldn't sit and ask God why though. I want to...but I can't. I don't know why. One thing I have learned is that asking why does me no good. There are many things in my life that I still don't understand "why." HOWEVER, there are many things in my life that took me years to learn the "why." I've been amazed over and over and over when I look back on my life and realize that if this bad thing hadn't happened, this amazingly awesome thing never would have happened. In Mark Batterson's book "Soulprint" he says "While you live your life forward, God works backward. The Oniscient One always starts with the end in mind."
Another eye opening thing he says in the same book is this:
"Every past experience is preparation for some future opportunity. And one way God redeems the past is by helping us see It through His eyes, His providence. The key to fulfilling your future destiny is hidden in your past memories."
Another thing I am learning is to listen for the Voice of the Lord. I could easily get lost in my hurt right now. I could shut myself up in a shell and lock out the people that love me. This is exactly what I started to do and it would be so seemingly easy to do that. In Mark Batterson's book "The Circle Maker" he says (paraphrased) that we must stop seeking answers of why things happen and simply seek GOD! I struggle with this b/c my questions were so overwhelming. But I am finding as I simply seek God, seek His presence, seek His voice, seek His face...that the questions are not nearly as important any more. All I care about is being with my precious Savior and loving Him and fulfilling the purpose He gave me.
I am so blessed. I could sit here and choose to count the bad things in my life...my weaknesses, my faults, my shortcomings, my wants, my needs.... but I choose to count my blessings (cliche I know!). I have so many that when I start really thanking God for them, everything else just seems to disappear.
He is the potter, I am the clay. May I ever be moldable in to the image of God. Like Michaelangelo saw the masterpiece in a block of stone that later became the masterpiece David, God sees through the junk in my life and wants to bring out the masterpiece that He uniquely created in me. He has so much for my life. I can't sit and dwell on things I have no control over.
Be blessed!
Marti
