Cambodia- Blog 1

This summer I have an amazing, once in a life time opportunity to teach for two weeks in the country of Cambodia. I will be teaching Science in three different schools throughout the country. I, will a few other students and two professors, will be teaching and demonstrationg the principles of Bloom's Taxonomy to help students to learn more and teachers to teach better. Over the next few months I will be using my blog spot to document my journey to Cambodia.

Two months ago, I didn't even know where Cambodia was. I had heard of it through the Greve family at church. Ann Greve is a missionary to Cambodia and her brother and family go to my church. That was the extent of my knowledge of this country. As I have begun studying the history of this country and its people, I have developed a passion and burden for the people. I now have a chance to help change their path in life!

In 5 years, 2 MILLION people were killed in Cambodia for the simple fact that they were educated. This happened from 1975-1979. I was born in 1979, so I think that is why this really hits home with me. Things like Hitler's Holocaust seem more far removed because it happened before my life time; but, the Holocaust in Cambodia happened in my lifetime. Really, it wasn't until the past 10 years that many things have come out about this horrible time in Cambodia's history.

I have posted a link for the full details. Please take a chance to look at it at your convenience.
http://www.unitedhumanrights.org/Genocide/pol_pot.htm

Over the next few months I will be posting updates on my trip progress and specific things you can pray for.

I am currently writing my support letters. For the next two months, all money I make babysitting will be tax deductible and go directly to my trip. If you are interested in having me babysit (in the Springfield area!), please let me know soon as my calendar is filling up. I am also willing to go to churches in the area and share a presentation on Cambodia and my upcoming trip on a donation basis.

If you are interested in donating, please leave me a message and I will give you directions to do so. I will be sending out support letters in the next week. If you would like to help save postage and a tree or two, I can email/Facebook/Myspace you a copy of my support letter. I have NO problems sending out a hard copy if you would prefer that! :o)

Last weekend, I was able to raise $90 babysitting for my trip plus $10 from selling cookies at work. $100 down, $2400 more to go! We can do it!

God bless!

The Pain Saga

Update: Family is doing great. I haven't seen any pictures from them yet (not sure why they haven't posted them), but I have heard itw as a nightmare. My dad said their yard is STILL a disaster...but they have about 25 trees. thankfully there was no damage to the house or anything.

I think I have just survived the craziest three weeks of my life lately! Not because of some horrible anything, just SCHOOL. HOLY COW!?!?!? I have been so busy! There is something major due every class period the past few weeks. Midterms!!! On a positive note, I A-ced every single project and test! Of course, I have not slept in forever...but who needs sleep! I also had a scholarship audition.

I personally think it went HORRIBLE. I was fine until I sat down, and then it just flew out the window. My instructor assures me that I did great, but I really dont think so. I will be getting something, just not sure what.

Last week I met with a new doctor for my ongoing back problems. It turns out that I have degenerative arthritis in my lower back. The cartlidge is getting thin as well. That could explain why I feel like I have a baseball of muscle knots in my low back. This has been such a LONG journey for me. I started having back problems when I was 20. At 21, I went to a chiropractor in Sikeston. He told me I had degenerative arthritis and I would be crippled by the time I was 30. After that, I went to a rheumatologist. At that time I didn't have insurance but the thought of being crippled by 30 terrified me. I went to one in Springfield. He did not look at my back, he did not take x-rays, he did not do an MRI. NOTHING. He looked at me and said "You are too young. It will go away." (i.e. You are 21 and don't have insurance...)

So for the last 8 years I have been living in excrutiating pain. I have gone to numerous doctors adn chiropractors since then. No one has been able to help me. It really became a battle because they all said I was too young. Finally, Fibromyalgia came up. So I became labled with that. In my heart and head, I KNEW that was not it.

Finally, on 12/22/08 I went to the ER. I could hardly walk and had only one time before experienced back pain like that. The ER doctor was great. He referred me to a back surgeon to do an MRI. He was floored that no one had ever done that. So two weeks ago I met with a back surgeon. Long story short...the man was a JERK. He was hateful to me. He was only in there for a couple of minutes. He said there was nothing he coudl do for me and without saying this exactly, he insinuated that I was wasting his time and he flat out told me that I was in pain because I was overweight. I was crushed. I sat in my car and cried like I haven't done in ages. I was so upset and frustrated. I KNOW pain and I know there is something wrong! It's not like I wanted something horrible to be wrong that required surgery...I just wanted ANSWERS!

The one good thing Dr. Jerk did was refer me to another doctor who specializes in pain management. So I went to Dr. Woodward two weeks later. He was AMAZING. He reviewed my MRI and discovered the arthritis. We talked...he talked...I talked...HE LISTENED (imagine that???) and now I am in physical therapy. I am going to the same place I went to when I had ankle surgery and am going to the same therapist. Just in one session I noticed a very slight improvement. It's just so wonderful that I KNOW what is wrong and that someone believes me and has answers! So I will be in therapy for a few weeks. They will teach me things I can do at home since time/money are issues for me. Then I will go back in 2 months and meet with the doctor. Then we will start working on a fitness routine to help lose weight. It's not hte cause of the problem, but it doesn't help.

Answers are amazing and they really are half the battle. I have a better attitude about it now and I feel more confident that I can live with less pain.

Next post: My upcoming trip to Cambodia! I don't have time to blog on that now, but will later!

Ice Storm 2009

I remember the "great ice storm" of 2007. I remember living in Ozark and really not being affected that bad. School wasn't even cancelled.... But then I remember driving into Springfield the first day we were back at work and just having my breath taken away. The damage was just...incomprehensible. It was as if a bomb of ice had exploded over the entire city. Nothing was left untouched. I remember thinking...wow...life will never be the same...it will never LOOK the same. I had never in my wildest dreams imagine that ice could be so destructive. I was fortunate and only lost power for 2 days, but many people I know and work with, went 2 weeks or longer.

Then came the little ice storm of 2008... and I was a little more prepared and really, it wasn't too terribly bad.

Slowly but surely life goes on and things DO get better. The trees, though shaken and battered, bloomed again in the spring. The ice storm became a distant memory.

January 2009-
My Dad and I talked on Monday night. We were supposed to get slammed here in SW Missouri and they were supposed to get 5-10 inches of snow in Sikeston. I prepared. I had food, water, candles, ligthers, clean clothes, etc. I did the dishes, took the trash out, things that I learned from the last ice storm.

They did nothing.

BOOM... They get the ice...we get the snow (with some ice too!). Yeah, things were bad here, but so much worse there.
My family got hit harder than I think Springfield did in 2007. I have this intense fear/anxiety that sometimes will just engulf me to the point of not being able to breathe...and that is fear is that something will happen someday and I will not be able to reach my family in the event of a disaster.

Of course my fear is well founded, at least to me. My parents are on top of the largest fault line in the United States that hasn't quaked violently since 1812...so it's just a couple of hundred years overdue. I am terrifed that someday it will quake and I will be left alone in this world without the people who mean more to me than life.

Anyway, back to the ice storm... So they are going through this horrible experience now. They have no power, no heat, no food, no gas. My Dad is currently staying at Red Cross shelter set up at their church, Miner Baptist. Of course he is volunteering there as well and I guarantee you that no one will leave without hearing about Jesus because of him!

My mom, Sara, Dave & Reid were at Sondra's house (a family friend) who had power, but then it went out. Dave, Sara & Reid are trying to get a generator for their house. Bryant is with his mom. Jacob is staying with a friend who has power. Missy & Brandy are staying Cape with Corey who has his own apartment and power and Kayla is at her Dad's house in Scott City and they have power....and me...

...I'm here...in Springfield...feeling utterly helpless! I hate that my family is scattered and I hate even more so that I am not there to help them through this. They are all stressed and tired and I want to be with them. I want to make them laugh and play dominoes and spoons with them to help them pass the time. I dread going back to Sikeston for the first time and seeing my "home" changed and damaged. I looked at pictures on line and cried. I think it was harder seeing my "home" or my "safe place" damaged like that.

I've also been thinking about how I got prepared for the ice this year because I have been there and was not prepared the first time...and they did not prepare because they've never seen anything like this... and I keep thinking of the song by DC Talk "I Wish We'd All Been Ready."

Are we ready? Am I ready? The time may come when I may lose my family or my friends or my home... and all I will have is my faith and relationship with God to carry me through...

And some glorious day I know that I will be with my heavenly Father in heaven, with my family.

Am I ready?

Daddy's Girl

So this has been a busy weekend, but a very good weekend.

When I first moved out on my own to my little apartment in Springfield, my dad would come to visit occassionally. When he comes by himself he stays with me and we would have a great time. A couple of times he would bring one of my nieces or nephews, but my favorite times were when it was just Dad.

Times change, we all get busy, so that hasn't happened much in the past few years. I miss those times.

This weekend my Dad came up and we had a great time. He came in Friday. He got here around 5:45. I was still at work so he came and sat with me as I worked until 6:30. It was fun and yet kinda weird having him there in "my environment." I loved it though. We went to Hong Kong Inn for dinner and then rushed to my concert at Evangel.

The concert was AWESOME! I really enjoyed it immensely and Dad absolutely loved it also! When we got home I taught him to play Mario Kart on Wii. That was hilarious!

Saturday morning I got up and he had gone out for coffee. When he came back we just talked. Later, we went to this antique restoration place in Ozark. It was really cool. THey take old things like soda machines, gas pumps, etc and restore them and then they have antiques also. We spent about an hour in there. He would see something from his childhood and tell me a story about it. I love those times.

We went to La Fiesta for lunch and then drove around Ozark for a bit. Then it was off to rehearsal for me until the church Christmas presentation started that night. After the presentation me, Dad, Leah and a girl I was babysitting named Amaris went to Braum's for ice cream. Before we did that we went and looked at the Christmas lights. There are two houses by the church that have the huge computer generated get up with a radio station to match the lights and all. Then we went to the big display at Cornerstone Church.

Sunday morning we went to church and had the Christmas production twice. Dad went to Second Baptist Church (down the street from my church) for first service and then watched the production during the second service. After church Leah joined us for lunch at Belgium Waffle in Ozark.

It was a GREAT weekend! I really miss spending time with just my Dad. .

I miss him. :o(

I'm so tired....

I'm tired...

I'm ready for this ridiculous paper I am writing and have been writing for...all semester...to be done.... I am almost finished...it's due tomorrow... I am currently finding Missouri GLE's and matching them to the curriculum. Thankfully SPS has a manual that has it all lined up, but it's still a lot of numbers jumbled up together and I am deciphering them. Fun stuff...

I love my practicum. My practicum teacher is AMAZING and I have learned so much from her. I really would like to work with her next semester but they may not let me do that. I hope I can. I really enjoy the students in the class. I'm getting to know them individually and see their needs. I want to meet all of their educational needs so they can succeed. There's one kid who can hardly read and he doesnt have a lot of confidence in his ability to learn because of that. Tuesday he and i had to walk to the library together and he told me all about his love for history. It was really cool to hear him talk about it. I love getting to know the kids personally. I can't wait to be a teacher...

I had a crappy day at work...I had customers that were just...ugh.... I wanted to hang up on them... I know some day I'll be trading in stupid customers for stupid parents....ha...

"Mom says some days are just like that....even in Australia." Alexander -The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

On a happy note...my tree is up...house is decorated...and I am watching Christmas movies and listening to Christmas music every opportunity. I am currently watching Elf. LOVE THIS MOVIE! Full of one liners... "Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?" hahhaaha The tree had to go up early because last weekend was my last free weekend before Christmas. Thanks to Sarah B for helping met get it up. The last three years we have had the tree in front o the window. It does not work there. It's too close to the door and takes up too much room. THis year we put it in the corner. It is working much better there and the cats are not bothering it as much. Before the cats and dog would run around and around the tree...it was not good. The only thing I dont like is that the tree appears MUCH smaller in the corner...but it's still beautiful. :o)

Well...the semester is almost over. PRAISE GOD! I am happy and sad. It's been a good semester but challenging. I am making straight A's and should end the semester making straight A's. I am making better grades working two jobs full time while in school than I did when I didnt work at all and just went to school. I think that's typical of non-tradional older students. I have a lot more at stake now than I did before.

I am booked through Christmas...I have no weekends free and very few weeknights before Christmas. When I look at my calendar I feel like Christmas is next week, but it's really Thanksgiving. Crazy how time flies when you are this insanely busy!

Well...back to my paper...enough useless bloggging!

Peanut Butter

I was looking through some old Myspace blogs I have written. This one is from April 2007.

Ode to a dear friend...
Category: Food and Restaurants
My life was changed in an instant.
It was sudden, unexpected, and yes... even a bit devastating.
I will never forget that fateful morning when I heard the news on the radio...
The February 14th morning that changed my life...
forever...
Yes friends, it was the day that the peanut butter died. *sigh* Yes, died. Recalled... due to salmonella.
It's hard to recover from such a devastating blow. Peanut butter is a staple in my life. Nothing makes a better snack than a spoonful of my favorite Great Value creamy peanut butter with a drizzle of Honey Heaven honey.
Contrary to popular belief, not all peanut butter is created equal. In my opinion, the best peanut butter is Great Value. I don't buy it because its inexpensive, I buy it because its the best....or...it WAS the best. Nothing else is nearly as good as GV. Trust me, I have tried many many brands, and nothing compares to GV.
As soon as I heard the news that dreaded morning, I ran (okay hobbled b/c I still wasnt walking) down the stairs and into the kitchen to see if my wonderful beloved jar of GV peanut butter had the horrible "2111" on the cap.
I shuddered as I gazed at that 2111, staring me in the face as if to say "HA HA HA" you can't eat me! We had two jars that we had to throw away. Gone forever. Of course the news pointed out that Missouri was one of the states that there had been several outbreaks, so I had to throw it away.
Sure, no big deal right? I thought it was nothing major really, I could just run to Wal-Mart and buy a new jar with a different number on the top. If I had known then what I know now, I would have risked it and finished that new jar.
The shelves at WalMart and Price Cutter had been cleaned out. The only peanut butter left was some all natural junk, Nutella and large jars of JIF. I was dumbfounded as I searched and searched for my beloved GV peanut butter, but it was not there. It was never to be seen again. I really thought that it would be no big deal. All they have to do is whip out a new batch of the good stuff at a different ConAgra plant right?
Wrong... very very wrong. Almost 2 months later, you still cannot buy GV peanut butter.
I had to resort to JIF. *Shudder*. It's just not the same. Every time I see that label staring me in the eyes, I shudder, and remember the good old days when I had my Great Value peanut butter. I have a conspiracy theory that JIF planted the salmonella in that ConAgra plant so that they could have the edge on the peanut butter market. All that you can find now is JIF and other nasty yucky brands.
Oh to taste that semi-sweet ultra smoothy creamy delectable taste in my mouth again... *sigh*
Tis nothing but a distant memory now.
Rest in peace dear Great Value peanut butter. Someday I hope we shall meet again.

Running from the unavoidable...

A week from tomorrow I will be 29. TWENTY NINE!!!!!!!!!!! That is the age that women say the are for the rest of their lives but really aren't. That is the age I really will be! 29 sounds so scary! It's my LAST YEAR in my 20's. I remember when I migrated from the mid-2o's to the late 20's and it was pretty traumatic.. but now I am the latest 20 you can be! Hello???? Where did the last nine years go?
It just seems like there should be more I should have accomplished by now? I mean, I was going to go to CBC, graduate, get married, go into ministry and have at least 2 kids by now! WOW God has a sense of humor! haha.
All that said, I am very thankful for my life and even though it hasnt turned out quite how I wanted it, I am in God's will and there is NO better place! So I'll try to be positive... bring it on 29...

So my Uncle Gary has cancer. Apparently it's not good. It could be months or years...who knows. He's a pretty hard guy and has never really wanted anythign to do with God. So we've been bombarding Heaven with prayers for his salvation. He's 62 years old and the only reason he ever steps foot in a church is to go to weddings or funerals. He's a good man but just kinda hard. But he just doesnt know Jesus. He does not express emotions or feelings very well.
Thursday he called my mom and said he wanted to go to Judgement House. It's a presentation my parents church puts on every year around Halloween. He brought it up on his own with no prompting from anyone. He needed a wheelchair becuase he cannot walk. The church made it happen.
During the salvation part of the program, no response. We continued praying.
Yesterday afternoon my mom called me from her cell phone. My mom NEVER uses her cell phone (I didnt even know she still had one!) so my immediate thought is that something is wrong. She told me that Uncle Gary had called Dad Sunday morning and asked him to come over. Around 7 am Dad shows up and as soon as he walks in the door Gary starts reading the sinners prayer off of a tract he got at the church and crying. Of course as mom is telling me I am crying as well. Dad was able to spend a couple of hours with him afterwards. God is good! This is someone, honestly, I thought would NEVER open his heart to the Lord. I'm sure that cancer and knowing his life is possibly ending prompted it partly; however, I believe the power of God is the ulitmate prompting. I know that if he is not with us much longer, that he will be with God and I will join him someday. God is good and He is the same yesterday, today and forever!!!

This weekend I went to the football game at Evangel. I LOATHE football! What I loathe even more is pep band at football games. I hate sitting out in the hot sun (or the cold nights) in large crowds. I have a phobia of large loud crowds. As much as I love baseball and going to games, it bothers me even there. The last STL game I went to I almsot got sick because there were so many people there. I didnt mind pep band in high school because all of my friends were there and it was fun. Now its just a chore and there are much more pressing things I would rather be doing on a Saturday. I know people in the band and all, but no one I feel real comfortable sitting and chatting with. And it goes back to the whole different stages of life thing too. These kids are like 18 and 19... I am 28 (for 8 more days!)... I'm not any better or worse than them...but I've already been where they are and I'm thinking about different things than they are. So anyway, I got sunburnt at the game. I have fair skin, I ignored the prompting of Dr K to wear sun screen. What's funny is that I only got partially burnt. The left side of my face/neck are burnt, but not hte right side. Now that's attractive!

Yesterday Deborah and I (my roommate) went down to Branson to The Landing. I was on a shoe hunt and have yet to find the ones I'm looking for in my size at a decent price. UGH...
Anyway, we ate a Shorty Smalls *YUMMY* and window shopped. It was a fun day.

Because of all of my outdoor adventures, I am now home in bed today sick with sinus infection. I have bad allergy issues and they always flair up around my birthday. So I am home in bed today watching Christmas movies...YES....Christmas movies! :o)

I'm curled up in my jammies in a warm blanket watching Christmas movies...sneezing and blowing my nose every couple of minutes.

Well, that's it for now... Happy Monday!