New attitude....

The other day I was reading an article in Todays Pentecostal Evangel. It was a story on Victor & David Plymire’s work in China. Between the 2 of them (father and son), they have 100 years ministry in China. When David was first entering missions, he went to Taiwan b/c China was closed. He knew the language of the place he had grown up in China, but he didn’t know the language of Taiwan (Mandarin). He said China opened and he was not sent there and when it did open, he was still not sent there. He ended up being in Taiwan for several years and to quote “even though that was not my heart’s desire.” He often questioned God and really struggled as to why he was in Taiwan when his heart was in China. Well, while in Taiwan, he studied diligently to learn Mandarin. He started a radio program in Mandarin. Over time, his Mandarin became so good that when people met him they didn’t believe it was really him because they thought he was Chinese and are shocked to find he’s just a white American. His radio ministry ended up being broadcast in China and through that, he was able to reach millions in some of the remotest villages. He went through years of valleys thinking he was not doing what HE wanted and not ministering to the people HE wanted to minister to, but all along, he really was. He had no idea that he was reaching to the people of China in some of the remotest villages he never could have travelled to himself. As a result, thousands of people know the Lord through the radio ministry he had because of his time in Taiwan. Even though he no longer has that and is retired living here in Springfield, his radio ministry lives on and is still broadcast on the air waves in China and Taiwan.



This was such an encouragement to me!. Even though my heart’s desire is not yet at Westport Elementary as a paraprofessional in kindergarten (YIKES), God has placed me there. My heart's desire is teaching full time in my own classroom. I don’t know why God has put me where HE has, but He has. I hope this is an encouragement to you today as well. I can’t tell you why God does the things He does, but I know that not only are our best interest is in His mind, but the best interest of others is as well and we don’t know what strings He’s pulling in the background to make our dreams come true and to touch other people through us as a result.



So for the next 9 months, I will continue pouring out my heart and abilities to help a great teacher and 23 kindergartners ! I will also continue learning and observing and growing so that next year I can be an even better teacher and reach even more kids. I don't know what God is going to do through me in the next year, but here I am Lord! Use me! Lord establish the works of my hands!

Transitions

I find myself often at a loss for words these days. School starts next week. While my friends are happily getting classrooms together and frantically making lesson plans...I am still searching for a job. This is not quite how I envisioned this time of year. To say this has been a struggle would be a tremendous understatement. I rarely cry. But over the past few weeks, I cannot seem to stop. I am trying incredibly hard to be at peace with this and rest knowing God has my future in His hands, but it's still difficult. While I happily support and encourage all of my friends who are now teaching, there's a part of me that struggles to even do that. I am so happy for them but I am also slightly envious. I have worked so hard and I want this so badly.

I have accepted a position as a paraprofessional in a kindergarten classroom at Westport ELementary here in Springfield. I am VERY excited for this opportunity. My biggest concern has been that if I take a year off of all education related things that it would be too hard to get back in next year with no experience and a year off. This was definitely an open door to pursue teaching and will be an inroad in the future for teaching. It is only a part time position so I will stay at GPH for another year working part time as well. Not ideal for me or GPH at all, but I am thankful they have chosen to allow me to do this.

This summer has been up and down. I had great intentions all summer and planned on doing so much and NOTHING has gone as planned. All I have done is work, work, work just to stay afloat. I am tired and have been sick almost all summer.

Despite everything, I still have hope and joy. I have many questions as to WHY God has chosen this route for me, but right now I'm not getting many answers. Only time will tell. God has never forsaken me nor will He. From the time I decided to become a teacher in 2007 until now, God has opened every door and made everything work out in ways i never could have dreamed...so I must continue to trust He will do so. While it's not my "dream," I am so thankful for the para job and look forward to meeting the kindergartners!

IN the mean time, I feel I have had a lot of spiritual growth in this walk of faith. There's the old saying "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger" and I feel very much this is one of those times.

"Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted in the Heavens, I will be exalted in the Earth." Ps 46:10

New Euphonium!

Here it is!!! My new horn! After months and months of searching and researching to try to find something that I could afford and was still a great horn, I decided on the Schiller Nickle Plated Compensating euphonium. I love it! When I compare it to my school rental Mirafone ($5000-$10,000 horn), I can't tell a difference. The Schiller is a little harder to tune but I think as I play more that will work itself out. It's a German company but a Chinese horn. I was told to stay away from any Chinese horns but after reading forum after forum about it, I decided to try it out. Every body who reviewed this horn was surprised at what a great horn it is and even compared it to some of the big names like Mirafone, Besson, Willson and Yamaha. It's a GORGEOUS horn! I am so pleased and blessed with it! Needless to say I have been practicing a lot lately! I can't wait to use it at church and in the tuba/euphonium ensemble & quartet I am a part of!

Be encouraged!

I haven't blogged in a long time...but today I was struck with the thought that I know so many young ladies out there who are just desperate to find love. They need so badly to feel loved and to have that sense of belonging. As women, God made us with those inner most desires to feel beautiful and loved and worthwhile in the eyes of a man. (Read the book Captivating sometime!) That's part of what makes us women and what makes us beautiful. The problem comes when we feel we can only be redeemed by the love of a man. We love so hard and we want to be loved in return. We have so much to offer, yet feel like we have no one to offer it to. We just want a man to accept and love us.

I too have struggled with these same thoughts many times. But that, my girl friends, is where we are wrong.

We have SO much to offer the world outside of a man! Our beauty, our love, our very souls, can not and will not be validated by the love of a man!

I have been in the 30's club now for about 3 months. I have had one boyfriend in my life and that was at the ripe mature age of 16 (haha). Sure, I'd love to have dated over the years, but that hasn't happened. There are guys I have been interested in, and some I cared for deeply and one that broke my heart without ever even dating. Through each situation, each let done, even a broken heart....God has made me stronger and wiser.

I am a strong and independent 30 year old. I do not need a man to redeem or validate me. The only one that can truly redeem my soul is the One that created me! In Him I have life and I live it to the fullest.

I look back at my life and it brings tears to my eyes to see how God has protected me from so much hurt and how He has brought me through so much to the place that I am now. I am strong, I am beautiful, and I have a lot to offer the world as an individual. When I first graduated from CBC in 2002, I felt let down because I didn't get my "ring by spring." It was really hard for me. I was so unhappy. But slowly, I moved on. I got my first apartment. I learned to pay bills on my own and manage my finances. I bought my first car. It wasn't easy. I bounced many checks (just ask my father!) and I definitely had difficult times...but I learned, and I grew. I moved to Ozark and got a roommate. I kept searching for jobs in ministry to no avail. Finally I felt God sending me back to school. I had no clue how I could do it. How could I work full time and go to school? But I did it! I made straight A's (with a couple pesky B's!), I worked hard and I am almost to the end. Somewhere in there I bought my second car on my own, and I moved to a nice duplex in Nixa with my roommate. One of the biggest things I did was change churches after almost 8 years. My church was my family and my life but God redirected my steps. The scariest thing was the Sunday morning I walked in to Central Assembly of God, a church of over 1000 people, and sat down by myself. I have been there almost five months now! I am slowly meeting people and finding my way. God has placed more awesome single women in my age bracket to be friends with. I am so blessed!

I do not say any of this to toot my own horn or brag. I say this to encourage you, the single young lady, to stand up and march forward! For whatever reason, God has called you and I for this time in life to be single. Instead of moping around "woe is me," move forward! Who does God want you to be? What can you offer this world as a single person? You will be surprised at how much you can do without a helpmate!

Sure, there are days, some worse than others, when I sit and I mope. I want so badly to find that man God has for me. I want to be a mother, I want the white picket fence and the happy ever after...but I can't allow myself to sit in that revelry for long In reality, those things really do not exist anyway (just ask a married couple!). Be strong in the Lord and be confident! Enjoy this time in your life. Instead of asking God why, ask God how! How can I be of service to You? How can I make my life better and how can I make someone elses's life better?

You have gifts and talents that are unique to you and you alone and you have so much to offer the world! True happiness must come from within your own heart. If you are expecting to find happiness with a man, you will ALWAYS be disapointed! There's a saying that says two halves do not make a whole. You must be a "whole" within yourself first!

A final thought I've heard many times..."It's better to be happy and single than miserable and married!"

I pray that God will give you strength to find yourself and to live the life that He has blessed you with!

Cambodia Updates

I apologize I have been lacking in blogging about Cambodia! I have been super busy finishing up my summer classes and catching up after jet lag! So here it goes:

Saturday free day in Phnom Penh-

We woke up early this morning and went to the Russian Market. THe other girls had already gone and told us it would be crazy. Thankfully, we went early enough that we avoided the heat and the crowds. As soon as we walk in people start calling out to us to be their wares. It was really overwhelming because it's kind of dark and yucky inside. It's hard to explain. The walkways are narrow and rough but we started finding our way around quickly. A little boy, probably around 10, quickly became our "guide." A lady that had a mamed face followed us aorund fanning us trying to get us to buy postcards. The first thing I did was buy some of the beautiful silk scarves! They were BEAUTIFUL! You can get them for about $2 each so I got several to give as gifts for friends. They also had some beautiful Cambodian scarves that are not silk. I do not know what they are made of, but they are beautiful.
Bargaining was not my strong point and I'm pretty sure that everyone can tell that! I got a silver ring with elephants on it and I love it! I also found some Khmer books I can use in my classroom. It's really hard to find kids books because they are all Buddhist or have a lot of underworld or depressing stuff. I found two books that are well made and have colors, shapes, musical instruments and stuff like that. They are excellent books and show Cambodian life! Those were definitely a good find! I bought some beautiful silk purses as well that were about $3 each! Great gifts! OUr little guide would try to help us with bargaining as well. He was hilarious. He kept calling Bud Greve "Mr. ATM" b/c Betty kept going to him for money. Very funny!

After our adventures at the market we went to a cafe that rescues girls out of prostitution and employees them. I think they said it was a Christian run place. They had delicious sandwiches. We headed back to the hotel to unload our market finds and then headed to Toul Sleng Prison.

Toul Sleng is where Pol Pot housed and tortured the educated and elited of Cambodia during his horrible reign from 1975-1979. The atrocities that took place in this complex were unthinkable. Our driver, Sopheak, went with us. He was about 7 or 8 when this happened and remembers it well. He would point to pictures of people that he knew. Many people enlisted in the Khmer Rouge not knowing what exactly it was. Later they were forced to torture and kill friends and family. One building housed pictures of every person that entered Toul Sleng. It was very overwhelming to see all of these children, teachers, doctors, lawyers, hard working people, etc. They were punished because they were educated. We walked through room after room in silence wondering how in the world something like this could happen only 35 years ago. This ended the year I was born and the world was clueless.

One of the leaders was named Duch. He later became a Christian. He asked God if he should turn himself in, and God said no; however, he was to go peacefully and share all his information when they found him. He did exactly that and is now in prison. He is the only person from the leaders that has done so and he has revealed many many things that happened there.

As if Tuol Sleng wasn't enough, we then drove outside of Phnom Penh to the Killing Fields and Genocide Museum. The day was overcast and raining. THere is a school not far from here and we could hear the children out playing. It was so overwhelming. THis is where they took people from Tuol Sleng to finish the job. THere were markers that said "Mass Grave of Persons Withouth Heads" or something like that. There was a specific tree that they used to beat and throw children against. There are mass graves all over. There is a large memorial in the middle filled with skulls. It was incredible.

I've been to the Holocaust Museum in DC and this was unlike even that. Maybe because I was there where it happened, maybe b/c I was younger when I went to DC or maybe b/c this Genocide happened during my lifetime... but it was incredible to think that something like this can happen even in this time.

Saturday evening we went to the Night Market. It was really nice just watching night life in PHnom Penh. Dr. Hardy and I did a little more shopping. We then went back to the hotel and hung out in the lobby of the hotel and used internet. It was a nice evening after a long, emotionally exhausting day.

Sunday we had the honor of attending the international church. Ann Greve was installed as pastor that day so it was an honor for us to see her installment. I loved watching everyone worship, singing the same songs that we do even in kids church at ET. There are 31 nationalities represented in that church.

After church we ate at Lucky Burger. I think we could compare it to McDonalds, but it was nasty! After lunch, we packed up and drove to Sihanoukville. It was a very long uncomfortable drive, but not horrible. We had all of the luggage in our van for both groups (the other girls drove down in a different van) plus Bewin, one of hte Cambodia girls. It was crunched! It was still a good trip and I took lots of pictures. Bewin taught us some Khmer so it was neat learning some of their language.

When we got to Sihanoukville, it was HOT and HUMID. WE first went to the orphanage. There were kids EVERYWHERE! There are 83 kids ages 7 months to 22 years old there. They were out playing and gathered around us. I immediately had several boys following me around asking me questions. Most of them speak English pretty well. They showed us all of their animals they raise. They have many dogs, pigs, fish and crocodiles! It was a lot of fun hanging out with them!

After the orphanage we went to our hotel. It was right across the street. It was NOT the SUnway in PHnom Penh! It was hot and we had to climb what seemed like a lot of stairs with our luggage to our rooms. Our room was very small and hot. There were ants in my bed! I had a break down once we got there! Dr Hardy encouraged me to make it thru dinner and I'd feel better. We went to dinner and then when we got back to the hotel. I spent some time journaling and in prayer and felt much better after that! Our bathroom is one big room. THere is no separate shower! It's jsut a hose on the wall with a shower head and you shower next to the toilet! It was crazy! We did get a nicer room though at the end with a little balcony. It faces the School of Hope where we will be working so that was nice. It was a very long, tiring, hot day and I went to bed early!

3 Days of Teaching in Phnom Penh

I got 11 hours of sleep my first night and woke up refreshed and ready to go. We enjoyed a nice breakfast at the hotel. THey have a large buffet with several different types of food.

There are about 40 students in our first clas. I was surprised that they all seemed very young. We found out the average age was 30 but many of them looked like teenagers or early 20's.

The first couple of hours of instruction went well, but we realized we were going to have to adapt things a bit because of the language barrier. In the morning we taught on writing a behavioral objective. We are also implementing a lot of cooperative learning stratgeties to show them different ways to teach. In the afternoon we did the Knowledge level of Bloom's Taxonomy.
I had to make up a song for the teachers on the water cycle. That was a lot of fun! Lunch was a form of soup with stuff in it that you put on rice. I pretty much ate rice and soy sauce. I couldnt identify the meat!

We ate dinner at a restaurant called KWest. I had another cheeseburger. NOt as good as Java, but still pretty good for a cheeseburger in Cambodia.

We had fun lesson planning in the evening and just laughing and being silly. The heat takes so much out of you so we were all exhausted and goofy. I also got to Skype with my parents for a few minutes so that made my night as well.

2nd day of teaching-
Today was much better. We are more into a groove with teaching. THe students are still having a difficult time grasping the concept of higher order thinking with Bloom's, but they are getting there slowly. Today we did Comprehension and Application. The students are great. They are so fun and they are so eager to learn. All of them have some amazing story that brought them where they are today.
Lunch today consisted of broth and nooodles with boiled pork kidney. Needless to say, I ate rice and soy sauce. I know... I am so boring! :o) We did get fried banana on our break. It was still warm and it was amazing!
For dinner tonight we went to Khmer Siran. It was beautiful. We sat on this terrace caved in by amazing greenery. We sat on the floor. The weather and atmosphere were beautiful. It was an enjoyable evening, even though I was rather uncomfortable sitting on the ground.
We also rode in a tuk-tuk for the first time. That was an experience! It was fun and interesting to see the traffic so close and personal. We went to a park and walked around. There are street vendors every where and people dancing in large groups and the most amazing fountatins I've ever seen. It was memorizing!
After all of that Dr Hardy and I went and got foot massages at the hotel. Things like that are so cheap and so good! It was incredible! They bring us into this nice quiet room and bring hot tea and have relaxing music on. Then they turn on the TV and it was Cops! So we're trying to relax but all we can hear is Cops. Finally we just kept laughing and had them turn it off. It was a nice time of conversation and getting to know her better. She is an amazing person and I really respect/admire her a lot.

Last day of teaching-
This went well. We were not able to get all 6 levels of Bloom's. We missed Evaluation, but what we did get in, went well and the students are understanding now. Hopefully they will be able to take this back and use it!
We were able to bring them pencils, pens, rulers, calculators, tons of posters and shampoo, conditioner and deodorant. It was fun to bless them with all of that stuff! It was also hard to say goodbye to them! They are all amazing!

First few days in Phnom Penh

I wasn't able to blog while I was there, but I did do a lot of journaling. I will be highlighting the trip using my journal to blog. :o)

Day 1-

The flight went well. On the way from Dallas to San Fran, my MP3 player bit the dust. I was worried it would make it a long flight over the ocean but thankfully China Airlines has headphones with movies and music. From Dallas to San Fran we also flew through a storm. Seeing the lightning above the clouds was incredible.
The 12 hour flight was not fabulous, but it wasnt horrible. Thankfully I was in an aisle and was able to get up quite a bit. I dozed, but didnt get much sleep. It was a new feeling being the minority! I was no where near any of our group on the plane so I was silent for 12 hours. Hard to imagine isn't it? ha :o) It was good though. Everywhere we go we definitely stick out in the crowd! On the flight to San Fran I sat by a lady and we did chat a little. She flew out of Kansas City and was also flying to Taipei so we chatted.
China Airlines served several meals and they were all different. I tried them anyway and only one made me feel a little yucky, but it was towards the end of the trip and starting to feel the fatique so it just didnt set well. There was this mystery salad with ham and apples and some funky dressing. I tried it but didnt like it. My favorite meal was the beef and potatos with gravy. Imagine that. ha

Day 2-
We arrive in Phnom Penh and the first thing I notice is the traffic! WOW! There are few traffic laws here and they are really merely suggestions. I am overwhelmed by the sites and sounds and smells!! The main method of transportation are moto bikes and they are everywhere. PEople are driving on both sides of the road, in and out of traffic. When you want to turn you just turn and hope people stop! I am amazed by this! The motos often carry 3 or 4 people on them and loads of other stuff.

We first go to Cambodia Bible Institute. Wow, it is HOT! We walk around the campus and get familiar with it. We meet Ann Greve and other people from the school. There is another group from Evangel already there working so we meet them as well. They are doing Khmer classes this week and then joining us in Sihounakiville next week.

Our hotel is gorgeous! THe service is also amazing. We have two full size beds in our room and a nice bathroom. We have a gorgeous view of the US Embassy directly across the street. It is comforting seeing the American flag flying high in front of the Embassy every morning!

We didnt tip the bellhop because we didnt know how much. The other girls gave them $2 USD. We were told later that probably made his week b/c a good tip is $1000 Riel, which is about .25 cents in USD.

Ann takes us to dinner at a place called Java. It was so good! I had the best cheeseburger and smoothie I've ever had! I'm not quite ready for Cambodian/Khmer food just yet! Ann tells us all about Cambodia and the school and the people. I am amazed at the stories she tells of the people and what they have gone through. It seems unreal that the atrocities that happened in Cambodia happened, especially after Hitler.
She tells us a story of a girl who is about 38. In 1975 she was 5 years old when Pol Pot took over. She was separated from her family and put in a work camp for 5 years. When Pol Pot lost power, they released all the children from the work camp but they had no where to go and had lost their families. She was only 10 years old. She made her way back to the home she lived in as a child and found her two siblings there. THey had been in different work camps and didnt knwo where to go when released so they did the same thing. Eventually the three of them made it on foot to their grandmothers house in the country and their mother was there! Later, they found out their father had been killed by the Khmer Rouge at Teuol Sleng Prison. They found out when they saw his picture there years later when it opened up as a museum.

After dinner, the five of us decided to walk around the hotel. It's a nicer area with a park nearby. As we walked down the streets we had several women approach us asking for money and food for their children. THere were lots of naked and half naked children running around. The women use their children to beg. It was very hard for us to see this and keep walking.

It's been a long overwhelming past few days. I can tell already that I love this place. I am amazed what Ann and the other missionaries have done. Ann came in 1991 when Cambodia first opened up. THere were no phones, cars, or much else for that matter. She flew into an airport htat had been bombed out. There were holes in the walls. She said they unloaded her luggage with a tractor and thent he tractor drove through a hole in the wall and they got their luggage off the tractor. It cost her $50 to send a fax from the one fax machine in the entire city. To hear her tell those stories and see where Phnom Penh is today is crazy. She is an awesome woman and I can already tell I'm going to like her a lot!