Well this blog is WAY overdue! There has been so much happen in my life I really do not know where to even begin. So we'll start with the fact that I'm getting married in 20 days! YIKES! Many have asked how we met, etc so I guess I'll start with that! Here goes:
In November I decided to join an online dating site (POF.com). I had tried these things in the past but never had any luck. I randomly decided to give it one more shot just for the heck of it. Long story short, after talking to two guys that ended up not being who they said they were, I was done. Enter Randy at the end of December. He had messaged me and I honestly wasn't really that interested. We messaged a few times but I just wasn't feeling it. At the end of December, I felt God telling me I needed to go on a month long Facebook fast in order to draw closer to Him and seek His will for my life. If he wanted me single, so be it. I had finally accepted that fact. On December 30th, I went to cancel my POF account. As I was about to hit the confirm cancel button something in my spirit prompted me to stop and message Randy. I really didnt want to but I did. I told him I wasn't really wanting to date but I felt I needed to keep talking to him so I gave him my email address. I said I may not even respond (how nice of me!?!?). So I sent him the message then cancelled my account. Within a few hours, he emailed.
We emailed for a couple of weeks, the entire time I'm fasting and experiencing major spiritual breakthroughs in my life. God was doing so much in me. We began texting and talking and he wanted to meet me. The day before we met, some things happened and I almost backed out, but every time I tried, God wouldn't let me. The day of the meeting was overcast and rainy and cold. I drove to Joplin where I met Randy at the mall. He had worked a 3 am-11 am shift so that he could meet me that day. We had a nice walk around the mall and lunch but cut it short because of the weather. I drove home thinking that was the last time I would see this man. He was very nice but I just wasn't feeling it. After the meeting, we decided to just be friends and nothing more (that was my idea!).
We talked for two more weeks but it began tapering off. I had planned on just telling him I didnt even really want to talk any more. The Saturday I had planned on doing so, I laid down to take a nap after a workout. God very clearly spoke to my heart and said "You need to see Randy and you need to see him tonight." I fought it. I tried to sleep (and I LOVE my sleep!) but couldn't. It weighed so heavy on my heart. Finally I text him, knowing he was at work, and asked if he wanted to meet that night. He couldn't because he had a date. I was like "See God!" LOL. Well a bit later he text and his date had cancelled. He said he would rather meet me anyway. So I drove to Joplin that night expecting to simply end it all.
What happened blew my mind! I had an amazing time and found myself really wanting to know him more! So two more weeks pass and we are talking and texting continually. We had great conversation and a definite spark there. After those two weeks, we agreed that we wanted to see where this would go. We talked another week or so exclusively and finally on February 16th he came down to go out and meet my friends for my roommates birthday. He brought me flowers, a card and homemade chocolate covered strawberries. One of the things that really did me in was that he had wanted to make them sugar free so he used unsweetened chocolate thinking it would still be sweet. LOL. He realized his mistake and added sweet n low to make them sweeter. They were surprisingly good but the fact that he thought about it that much meant a lot to me. After a great day together, we both realized we really wanted to make this work.
He knew much faster than I that he loved me but it took me a little longer. Even though I didnt necessarily love him, I knew he was the one after a party he had at work in Joplin that I attended with him. Lets rewind two years real quick to my missions trip to Ireland.
In Ireland, we had a prayer meeting one night. While praying, a lady that did not know my life came to me and said that I was a rosebud but would soon be a rose in bloom to the man that God had created just for me. After that, someone spoke Psalm 46:10 to me not knowing it was my favorite verse.
Now, back to Joplin in 2013. Randy and I were talking one night and just having a nice time. He looked at me and said he was falling in love with me. I said that I cared for him but I wasn't there yet and didn't want to lie to him. He understood but then he said "You are my rose in bloom."
I literally stopped and went "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" I had chill bumps and even though I didnt necessarily share his love just then, I knew he was the one. It didnt take much longer for me to share those feelings though.
So we knew we wanted to get married. We decided that sometime in March or early April. We had talked about waiting a longer time but finally decided that there was no reason to wait. We both know and we know God is in it so why wait. He officially proposed on a Saturday morning Memorial Day weekend at my parent's house. My ring is a beautiful simple solitaire and the diamond came from my dad's ring which came from my great grandmother's wedding ring. It means so much to me to have it and to have Randy be the one to give it to me.
Randy is an incredibly honest and hard working man. He loves the Lord so much and is always striving to be more and more like God. He is a bold witness and shares Jesus with everyone he meets. He is generous and giving and wants to help everyone he can. He loves kids AND cats! Unfortunately, he loves coffee too, but the love of cats overrides that! He supports my passions and dreams. He has become a source of strength in my life. It has been so awesome to watch God move in his life and continually change him (he was saved not too long before we met). There is so much I respect and admire about him.
So on August 3rd, I will say "I DO" to this man! I know that life won't be perfect. We each come in bringing in our baggage and junk, but e also know that as long as we communicate with each other and work together, we will make it with God's help!
So that's been my life the last 7 months!
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Monday, June 11, 2012
I Left My Heart in Guatemala
When I went to Ireland, I blogged daily and I loved it. In Guatemala, I was unable to do that. Since I returned I've been thinking how on earth I am going to put into words all that God did in that one week. There's just SO much! I'll do my best to convey everything that happened.
Let me preface this blog with telling you that I knew God had huge plans for me and for the team on this trip. I faced some CRAZY opposition and spiritual attacks in the 3 or so months before this trip. I also had it affirmed in other circumstances and through friends that they felt something huge was going to be happening. The day we left I was so sick I seriously considered backing out at the last minute...but I didn't. I would have regretted it the rest of my life had I done that.
Each night of the trip I sat in the rocking chair out on the balcony of the house where we stayed and journaled and reflected on the day. I'll use highlights from my journal to compose this blog.
The balcony was my favorite spot in the team house where we stayed. It overlooked a street of the town of Monjas. The sky in the evening was so big and so clear and the stars so bright. You could hear the sounds of the crickets, the frogs and other animals in the night. The streets were generally quiet but every night I would see men coming home from work either on foot or bike with their machetes swinging from their sides. During the day you would see cars and tuk tuks traveling down. You could see the mountains in the distance all around you, and their would be children on the dirt street below playing soccer and laughing and joking in Spanish. In the mornings our team would gather together on the balcony and listen to worship music and pray individually. Then we would come together and pray as a group for our day. Those times together will stay with me forever as it built our team unity and drew us closer to God and each other. The balcony was a very special place.
Sunday, June 3 Journal Entry
Lord why you chose me to serve here in Guatemala is beyond me but I am so blessed and so unworthy. Thank you for taking me from my comfort zone and opening my eyes to what is happening around the world, yet again.
God break my heart for what breaks yours. OPen my eyees ot what you see. May I be aware of the needs around me. God help break the language barrier.
Lord I know there is something here for me. I'm scared to pray this, but God may I be willing to accept whatever it is. I am your hands nad feet. May I not shy away from opening my heart to these beautiful children.
Highlights of the day:
1. Meeting Joanne & Carroll, founders of the orphanage. These are two incredible saints of God. They are true world changers. I'm so excited to get to know them.
2. The sweet children I met today: Lila, Wendy Fabiola, Erica, Catty and the house parents.
3. Going to the transition house where girls go when they turn 17. What an AWESOME way to help these girls transition into the world! These girls have so many giftings that they will use for God.
4. Team meeting- Learned the history of a few of the girls. Heart breaking, yet so incredibly miraculous how God has transformed their lives and given them joy in the midst of their horrific life events.
Monday, June 4 Journal Entry
Today Bryon, Heidi and I did a short teacher training clinic for the teachers at the school (at the orphanage). This is my HEART! I LOVE doing this and know this is what God has called me to do at some point in my life. Tonight I sat with Joanne at dinner and shared my heart with her. You came down right there in the midst of dinner and shared with us both a plan to use my gifts from the states here in Guatemala. God I am so humbled and excited to see a part of my dreams begin to come true! Lord may your hand direct and guide my path. As Joanne says, it's one step at a time! I am so overwhelmed and blessed you have chosen me. I know that teaching and education can open so many doors for these girls. Gloria a Dios!
Highlights of the day:
1. Teacher training at the school. The assistant prinicpal says "You have given us keys to unlock the minds of our students." WOW!
2. Charlene- Teaches ESL and works with special needs kids. She has a passion for her job! Her students are praying for the Spirit of God to fall on Guatemala. WOW!
3. Spending time with the little kids! I love them already! Sara, Lucia, Angel, Lila, Lubia, Alfredo and Pablo
4. While the rest of the team was conducting a basketball camp with the older girls, God called me to go work and play with the little kids. It was so much fun teaching them Duck Duck Goose...when they already knew how. I learned their way of Pato Pato Gonzo (spelling?).
5. Talking with Joanne about the idea of a teacher training program at the school.
6. Trying to play Uno with the little kids and laughing so hard!
7. Team Meeting- Singing the spanish songs for VBS and learned how to make balloon animals.
8. Had a scary moment with my insulin pump. The adhesive wouldn't stick to my skin b/c it's so hot. Prayed about it and Victor (our translator) took me to the farmacia and we found a special tape. Praying it stays on until Wednesday.
9. Had a fun late night talk on the balcony with Heidi and Deborah.
Tuesday, June 5 Journal Entry
Because of my pump issues I was put to work in the office today instead of working on construction. I'm kind of bummed becasue I really wanted to be active and physical; yet I know I am being a huge help in the office as well. It's fun to sit and chat with Anna and Cyndi as well. They are definitely kindred spirits!
We had VBS in a rural mountain community called Las Ventanas. The kids jumped up and down as the van drove down the rocky dirt road to get to the church (those were some scary mountain roads!). The kids are so different than they are in the US or even at the orphanage. They were very quiet and reserved. I'm wondering how many of them have ever actually seen a Gringo before. This was the first time they've ever had VBS as well. There were 86 kids that came and many accepted Jesus. The funniest part of the day was when Bryon and Eric were doing the lesson and there was a lady breast feeding very indiscreetly. I could see the moment Eric and Bryon both saw it...quite funny. That's completely normal here...I'm sure it won't be the first time we see that. LOL.
Highlights of the day:
1. Pump has stayed on!
2. Getting to know Anna while working in the office.
3. VBS at Las Ventanas- Learning some of the funny kids songs in Spanish (Sapo Sapo!)
4. Time at the orphanage with Sara, Marisol, Wendy Fabiola, Angel, Pablo, Lubia and Lucia. The power went out yet we still found ways to have fun swinging, playing on the trampoline and being silly. LOve that these kids weren't even phased by a power outage.
5. Touring Monjas and going to the weekly market. Love seeing how people live and shop.
6. Getting to know Jordan C (a team member) better- She's awesome...can't wait to get to know her more.
Wednesday, June 6 Journal Entry
"The more authentic I am, the more authority I have."- Mark Batterson in Soulprint
"The rest God ofers is the rest of meekness, the blessed relief which comes when we accept ourselves for what we are and cease to pretend." - AW Tozer, quoted by Mark Batterson in Soulprint
Both of those quotes really hit me today. Today I am wrestling with "me." It's not about me it's about God. It's not about Marti's glory...it's about God's glory. I must put me away and focus on God. God forgive me for ever trying to make it about me.
Highlights of the day:
1. More fun in the office working on a mailing for Shadow of His Wings orphanage.
2. Another great day at Las Ventanas. We had close to 100 kids today. They started to warm up today and had a lot of fun.
3. We swam in a pool that is spring fed. There are fish in the bottom. It's the 3rd cleanest water source in Guatemala so people often go and fill their water jugs up. It was really cool to see how it works. I didnt swim, just put my feet in, but it was fun.
4. My pump is still on!
5. Team meeting- Praying together in the morning. Sensing a calling on Jordan's life....God has big plans for her!
6. Amazing dinner at Carolina's, a restaurant in Monjas. Then having the most amazign ice cream ever at a little shop.
7. Victor, our translastor, is the kind that makes this trip. His passion for ministry and the girls at the orphanage is crazy. This man needs to be a pastor.
8. Amazed at the organization of this ministry and praying for all of those in leadership.
9. Tomorrow is going to be a HUGE day.
Thursday, June 7
Today has been QUITE a day! WOW...We can plan all day long but God laughs and says "I got a better plan..." Overall, today was the best day of this trip. It's been terribly exhausting in every possible way...but the best.
The school asked us to pray over the school, teachers and students. They've had some attacks and want to nip those. We started out with half of us praying over the classrooms and half over the students. I chose to pray over the rooms and teachers. WOW...what a POWERFUL prayer time. One, hearing Joanne pray just increases my prayers! That woman can PRAY! We anointed every door way and desk in the school as well as prayed for many of the teachers. It was just so incredibly powerful.
After that, we went to the store and with donated money loaded up on groceries and supplies to donate to the local nursing home. It is a donation based nursing home and they don't receive any assistance. I dont know for sure, but I think the residents don't pay (but I could be wrong!). When we arrived there was a school bus filled with students from a boarding school. We were kind of bummed because it was going to take away from our time with the patients. We unloaded our groceries and they brought the residents in to a large room. The place was sad. The conditions are less than ideal as they all sleep in one big room on small beds. The care is less than ideal becasue they dont have much to work with. We did a short service where Heidi spoke. The students from the local school were all in there as well. When Heidi was done, we thought our time there was over...but God fell! Anna began speaking and then Eric got up and preached probably one of the best off the cuff anointed sermons I've ever heard. In the end, around 20 students and a few of the residents accepted Jesus as their savior. We had a tremendous prayer time with them. Then a little elderly lady (when I say little...she's MAYBE 4 ft tall!) stood up and began singing songs (in Spanish). Then another man sang. The last man to sing was very old and looked close to death. He didnt' stand, but sat and sang the most incredible song I've ever heard. I have no clue what he sang ,but the place from which he sang it was incredible. It came from so deep within his soul that i felt it came straight from the throne of heaven. No one sang with him. There was not a dry eye in the room when he was done. Everyone was captivated but his voice. I recorded it but even that will not do it justice. What a glorious moment that I will never forget...
After lunch, I met with Joanne and Anna and we began developing the teacher training program that we will be implementing into the school. I won't go in to all the logistics and it's still a work in progress, but it's so exciting! In a nutshell, there are 2-3 teams that come from the US and Canada a month to work there at the project (orphanage and school). I will be finding teachers on those teams and coordinating with them and the school to do teacher training while they are down there. This won't be starting until January but we'll be working to get it all together in the next few months. It was a great meeting and God was with us. We ended in a time of prayer that just gave me an incredible peace for what God is going to do through this. I'm so humbled; yet excited, to have this opportunity.
In the afternoon we had the opportunity to have a basketball camp and assembly at the local public junior high. There were around 400 kids there plus several standing outside the fence watching. The camp itself went great. While we were a little disapointed during the message, we are trusting that seeds were planted in the lives of those young people. In addition to those 400 that heard the message, 200 more heard it in elementary next store as well as those standing outside the fence. We'll never know how many truly heard the message and had seeds planted. 22 students did come back for prayer after so that was also positive. It was a really fun afternoon.
In the evening we met for one last time at the orphanage to see the kids and say goodbye. It was a tough time. The girls there put on a show for us and we had so much fun. They involved us and had us up on stage dancing and being silly. I sat with Angel and Sara and had fun with them. It's hard to say goodbye but I know these kids are in amazing hands at the orphanage and more importantly they are in God's hands. I will continue to pray for those kids year round and look forward to seeing htem next year.
It's been a long, yet quick, extremely emotional day. My mind is now shifting towards getting ready to go home. It's going to be hard but I will be back here and will keep in touch with the leaders. They are amazing people.
Lord I am so thankful to be chosen to experience this. I'm amazed and overwhelmed by your "bigger" plan. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this.
Oh, and I didn't have to change my pump until tonight! God is good!
Friday, June 8
Today we said goodbye to Monjas. This morning we gathered on the balcony one last time while worshipping to "Rooftops" from Jesus Culture one last time. It was an emotional morning with lots of tears. *sigh*
We drove to Antigua and spent the afternoon sight seeing and shopping. It's a beautiful old colonial city with lots of good markets. We had fun in the markets. I suck at negotiating prices so Deborah did it for me. She is WAY better than me! haha. It was fun. We stayed at Los Lagos (a hostal) in Guatemala City. It was fun staying up and having a last night with some of the younger memebers of the team. We had some good laughs and deep conversations. God ordained for each person to be there and he unified us from the beginning as a team anointed by Him. I definitely feel like we are a family and it will be hard to say goodbye knowing I won't see them much. What a week.... *sigh*
Let me preface this blog with telling you that I knew God had huge plans for me and for the team on this trip. I faced some CRAZY opposition and spiritual attacks in the 3 or so months before this trip. I also had it affirmed in other circumstances and through friends that they felt something huge was going to be happening. The day we left I was so sick I seriously considered backing out at the last minute...but I didn't. I would have regretted it the rest of my life had I done that.
Each night of the trip I sat in the rocking chair out on the balcony of the house where we stayed and journaled and reflected on the day. I'll use highlights from my journal to compose this blog.
The balcony was my favorite spot in the team house where we stayed. It overlooked a street of the town of Monjas. The sky in the evening was so big and so clear and the stars so bright. You could hear the sounds of the crickets, the frogs and other animals in the night. The streets were generally quiet but every night I would see men coming home from work either on foot or bike with their machetes swinging from their sides. During the day you would see cars and tuk tuks traveling down. You could see the mountains in the distance all around you, and their would be children on the dirt street below playing soccer and laughing and joking in Spanish. In the mornings our team would gather together on the balcony and listen to worship music and pray individually. Then we would come together and pray as a group for our day. Those times together will stay with me forever as it built our team unity and drew us closer to God and each other. The balcony was a very special place.
Sunday, June 3 Journal Entry
Lord why you chose me to serve here in Guatemala is beyond me but I am so blessed and so unworthy. Thank you for taking me from my comfort zone and opening my eyes to what is happening around the world, yet again.
God break my heart for what breaks yours. OPen my eyees ot what you see. May I be aware of the needs around me. God help break the language barrier.
Lord I know there is something here for me. I'm scared to pray this, but God may I be willing to accept whatever it is. I am your hands nad feet. May I not shy away from opening my heart to these beautiful children.
Highlights of the day:
1. Meeting Joanne & Carroll, founders of the orphanage. These are two incredible saints of God. They are true world changers. I'm so excited to get to know them.
2. The sweet children I met today: Lila, Wendy Fabiola, Erica, Catty and the house parents.
3. Going to the transition house where girls go when they turn 17. What an AWESOME way to help these girls transition into the world! These girls have so many giftings that they will use for God.
4. Team meeting- Learned the history of a few of the girls. Heart breaking, yet so incredibly miraculous how God has transformed their lives and given them joy in the midst of their horrific life events.
Monday, June 4 Journal Entry
Today Bryon, Heidi and I did a short teacher training clinic for the teachers at the school (at the orphanage). This is my HEART! I LOVE doing this and know this is what God has called me to do at some point in my life. Tonight I sat with Joanne at dinner and shared my heart with her. You came down right there in the midst of dinner and shared with us both a plan to use my gifts from the states here in Guatemala. God I am so humbled and excited to see a part of my dreams begin to come true! Lord may your hand direct and guide my path. As Joanne says, it's one step at a time! I am so overwhelmed and blessed you have chosen me. I know that teaching and education can open so many doors for these girls. Gloria a Dios!
Highlights of the day:
1. Teacher training at the school. The assistant prinicpal says "You have given us keys to unlock the minds of our students." WOW!
2. Charlene- Teaches ESL and works with special needs kids. She has a passion for her job! Her students are praying for the Spirit of God to fall on Guatemala. WOW!
3. Spending time with the little kids! I love them already! Sara, Lucia, Angel, Lila, Lubia, Alfredo and Pablo
4. While the rest of the team was conducting a basketball camp with the older girls, God called me to go work and play with the little kids. It was so much fun teaching them Duck Duck Goose...when they already knew how. I learned their way of Pato Pato Gonzo (spelling?).
5. Talking with Joanne about the idea of a teacher training program at the school.
6. Trying to play Uno with the little kids and laughing so hard!
7. Team Meeting- Singing the spanish songs for VBS and learned how to make balloon animals.
8. Had a scary moment with my insulin pump. The adhesive wouldn't stick to my skin b/c it's so hot. Prayed about it and Victor (our translator) took me to the farmacia and we found a special tape. Praying it stays on until Wednesday.
9. Had a fun late night talk on the balcony with Heidi and Deborah.
Tuesday, June 5 Journal Entry
Because of my pump issues I was put to work in the office today instead of working on construction. I'm kind of bummed becasue I really wanted to be active and physical; yet I know I am being a huge help in the office as well. It's fun to sit and chat with Anna and Cyndi as well. They are definitely kindred spirits!
We had VBS in a rural mountain community called Las Ventanas. The kids jumped up and down as the van drove down the rocky dirt road to get to the church (those were some scary mountain roads!). The kids are so different than they are in the US or even at the orphanage. They were very quiet and reserved. I'm wondering how many of them have ever actually seen a Gringo before. This was the first time they've ever had VBS as well. There were 86 kids that came and many accepted Jesus. The funniest part of the day was when Bryon and Eric were doing the lesson and there was a lady breast feeding very indiscreetly. I could see the moment Eric and Bryon both saw it...quite funny. That's completely normal here...I'm sure it won't be the first time we see that. LOL.
Highlights of the day:
1. Pump has stayed on!
2. Getting to know Anna while working in the office.
3. VBS at Las Ventanas- Learning some of the funny kids songs in Spanish (Sapo Sapo!)
4. Time at the orphanage with Sara, Marisol, Wendy Fabiola, Angel, Pablo, Lubia and Lucia. The power went out yet we still found ways to have fun swinging, playing on the trampoline and being silly. LOve that these kids weren't even phased by a power outage.
5. Touring Monjas and going to the weekly market. Love seeing how people live and shop.
6. Getting to know Jordan C (a team member) better- She's awesome...can't wait to get to know her more.
Wednesday, June 6 Journal Entry
"The more authentic I am, the more authority I have."- Mark Batterson in Soulprint
"The rest God ofers is the rest of meekness, the blessed relief which comes when we accept ourselves for what we are and cease to pretend." - AW Tozer, quoted by Mark Batterson in Soulprint
Both of those quotes really hit me today. Today I am wrestling with "me." It's not about me it's about God. It's not about Marti's glory...it's about God's glory. I must put me away and focus on God. God forgive me for ever trying to make it about me.
Highlights of the day:
1. More fun in the office working on a mailing for Shadow of His Wings orphanage.
2. Another great day at Las Ventanas. We had close to 100 kids today. They started to warm up today and had a lot of fun.
3. We swam in a pool that is spring fed. There are fish in the bottom. It's the 3rd cleanest water source in Guatemala so people often go and fill their water jugs up. It was really cool to see how it works. I didnt swim, just put my feet in, but it was fun.
4. My pump is still on!
5. Team meeting- Praying together in the morning. Sensing a calling on Jordan's life....God has big plans for her!
6. Amazing dinner at Carolina's, a restaurant in Monjas. Then having the most amazign ice cream ever at a little shop.
7. Victor, our translastor, is the kind that makes this trip. His passion for ministry and the girls at the orphanage is crazy. This man needs to be a pastor.
8. Amazed at the organization of this ministry and praying for all of those in leadership.
9. Tomorrow is going to be a HUGE day.
Thursday, June 7
Today has been QUITE a day! WOW...We can plan all day long but God laughs and says "I got a better plan..." Overall, today was the best day of this trip. It's been terribly exhausting in every possible way...but the best.
The school asked us to pray over the school, teachers and students. They've had some attacks and want to nip those. We started out with half of us praying over the classrooms and half over the students. I chose to pray over the rooms and teachers. WOW...what a POWERFUL prayer time. One, hearing Joanne pray just increases my prayers! That woman can PRAY! We anointed every door way and desk in the school as well as prayed for many of the teachers. It was just so incredibly powerful.
After that, we went to the store and with donated money loaded up on groceries and supplies to donate to the local nursing home. It is a donation based nursing home and they don't receive any assistance. I dont know for sure, but I think the residents don't pay (but I could be wrong!). When we arrived there was a school bus filled with students from a boarding school. We were kind of bummed because it was going to take away from our time with the patients. We unloaded our groceries and they brought the residents in to a large room. The place was sad. The conditions are less than ideal as they all sleep in one big room on small beds. The care is less than ideal becasue they dont have much to work with. We did a short service where Heidi spoke. The students from the local school were all in there as well. When Heidi was done, we thought our time there was over...but God fell! Anna began speaking and then Eric got up and preached probably one of the best off the cuff anointed sermons I've ever heard. In the end, around 20 students and a few of the residents accepted Jesus as their savior. We had a tremendous prayer time with them. Then a little elderly lady (when I say little...she's MAYBE 4 ft tall!) stood up and began singing songs (in Spanish). Then another man sang. The last man to sing was very old and looked close to death. He didnt' stand, but sat and sang the most incredible song I've ever heard. I have no clue what he sang ,but the place from which he sang it was incredible. It came from so deep within his soul that i felt it came straight from the throne of heaven. No one sang with him. There was not a dry eye in the room when he was done. Everyone was captivated but his voice. I recorded it but even that will not do it justice. What a glorious moment that I will never forget...
After lunch, I met with Joanne and Anna and we began developing the teacher training program that we will be implementing into the school. I won't go in to all the logistics and it's still a work in progress, but it's so exciting! In a nutshell, there are 2-3 teams that come from the US and Canada a month to work there at the project (orphanage and school). I will be finding teachers on those teams and coordinating with them and the school to do teacher training while they are down there. This won't be starting until January but we'll be working to get it all together in the next few months. It was a great meeting and God was with us. We ended in a time of prayer that just gave me an incredible peace for what God is going to do through this. I'm so humbled; yet excited, to have this opportunity.
In the afternoon we had the opportunity to have a basketball camp and assembly at the local public junior high. There were around 400 kids there plus several standing outside the fence watching. The camp itself went great. While we were a little disapointed during the message, we are trusting that seeds were planted in the lives of those young people. In addition to those 400 that heard the message, 200 more heard it in elementary next store as well as those standing outside the fence. We'll never know how many truly heard the message and had seeds planted. 22 students did come back for prayer after so that was also positive. It was a really fun afternoon.
In the evening we met for one last time at the orphanage to see the kids and say goodbye. It was a tough time. The girls there put on a show for us and we had so much fun. They involved us and had us up on stage dancing and being silly. I sat with Angel and Sara and had fun with them. It's hard to say goodbye but I know these kids are in amazing hands at the orphanage and more importantly they are in God's hands. I will continue to pray for those kids year round and look forward to seeing htem next year.
It's been a long, yet quick, extremely emotional day. My mind is now shifting towards getting ready to go home. It's going to be hard but I will be back here and will keep in touch with the leaders. They are amazing people.
Lord I am so thankful to be chosen to experience this. I'm amazed and overwhelmed by your "bigger" plan. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this.
Oh, and I didn't have to change my pump until tonight! God is good!
Friday, June 8
Today we said goodbye to Monjas. This morning we gathered on the balcony one last time while worshipping to "Rooftops" from Jesus Culture one last time. It was an emotional morning with lots of tears. *sigh*
We drove to Antigua and spent the afternoon sight seeing and shopping. It's a beautiful old colonial city with lots of good markets. We had fun in the markets. I suck at negotiating prices so Deborah did it for me. She is WAY better than me! haha. It was fun. We stayed at Los Lagos (a hostal) in Guatemala City. It was fun staying up and having a last night with some of the younger memebers of the team. We had some good laughs and deep conversations. God ordained for each person to be there and he unified us from the beginning as a team anointed by Him. I definitely feel like we are a family and it will be hard to say goodbye knowing I won't see them much. What a week.... *sigh*
Saturday, May 5, 2012
~he who fails to learn, fails to grow~
I have been reading books by Mark Batterson lately. He is a gifted writer. Many things that he says in his books are "Christianity:101" common sense; yet HOW he says them are just eye (and heart) opening. I have been a Christian for most of my life, but sometimes (many times) I need these reminders.
Recently I had something happen to me that shook me to my core. I literally felt like someone had punched me in the gut until I could no longer breathe...and then continued to kick me while I was down. For days I walked around in a pathetic state of disbelief and confusion. What happened took me so off guard and came from what I thought was way out of no where. I'm still processing and dealing with these things; yet God is good. Through this low point in my life, I have had to turn to God more than I have had to in years. I had to get to a place of complete on my face before God brokenness in order to see some other areas of my life that I need to work on. It's at those low places where you start seeing things from a different perspective.
I couldn't sit and ask God why though. I want to...but I can't. I don't know why. One thing I have learned is that asking why does me no good. There are many things in my life that I still don't understand "why." HOWEVER, there are many things in my life that took me years to learn the "why." I've been amazed over and over and over when I look back on my life and realize that if this bad thing hadn't happened, this amazingly awesome thing never would have happened. In Mark Batterson's book "Soulprint" he says "While you live your life forward, God works backward. The Oniscient One always starts with the end in mind."
Another eye opening thing he says in the same book is this:
"Every past experience is preparation for some future opportunity. And one way God redeems the past is by helping us see It through His eyes, His providence. The key to fulfilling your future destiny is hidden in your past memories."
Another thing I am learning is to listen for the Voice of the Lord. I could easily get lost in my hurt right now. I could shut myself up in a shell and lock out the people that love me. This is exactly what I started to do and it would be so seemingly easy to do that. In Mark Batterson's book "The Circle Maker" he says (paraphrased) that we must stop seeking answers of why things happen and simply seek GOD! I struggle with this b/c my questions were so overwhelming. But I am finding as I simply seek God, seek His presence, seek His voice, seek His face...that the questions are not nearly as important any more. All I care about is being with my precious Savior and loving Him and fulfilling the purpose He gave me.
I am so blessed. I could sit here and choose to count the bad things in my life...my weaknesses, my faults, my shortcomings, my wants, my needs.... but I choose to count my blessings (cliche I know!). I have so many that when I start really thanking God for them, everything else just seems to disappear.
He is the potter, I am the clay. May I ever be moldable in to the image of God. Like Michaelangelo saw the masterpiece in a block of stone that later became the masterpiece David, God sees through the junk in my life and wants to bring out the masterpiece that He uniquely created in me. He has so much for my life. I can't sit and dwell on things I have no control over.
Be blessed!
Marti
Recently I had something happen to me that shook me to my core. I literally felt like someone had punched me in the gut until I could no longer breathe...and then continued to kick me while I was down. For days I walked around in a pathetic state of disbelief and confusion. What happened took me so off guard and came from what I thought was way out of no where. I'm still processing and dealing with these things; yet God is good. Through this low point in my life, I have had to turn to God more than I have had to in years. I had to get to a place of complete on my face before God brokenness in order to see some other areas of my life that I need to work on. It's at those low places where you start seeing things from a different perspective.
I couldn't sit and ask God why though. I want to...but I can't. I don't know why. One thing I have learned is that asking why does me no good. There are many things in my life that I still don't understand "why." HOWEVER, there are many things in my life that took me years to learn the "why." I've been amazed over and over and over when I look back on my life and realize that if this bad thing hadn't happened, this amazingly awesome thing never would have happened. In Mark Batterson's book "Soulprint" he says "While you live your life forward, God works backward. The Oniscient One always starts with the end in mind."
Another eye opening thing he says in the same book is this:
"Every past experience is preparation for some future opportunity. And one way God redeems the past is by helping us see It through His eyes, His providence. The key to fulfilling your future destiny is hidden in your past memories."
Another thing I am learning is to listen for the Voice of the Lord. I could easily get lost in my hurt right now. I could shut myself up in a shell and lock out the people that love me. This is exactly what I started to do and it would be so seemingly easy to do that. In Mark Batterson's book "The Circle Maker" he says (paraphrased) that we must stop seeking answers of why things happen and simply seek GOD! I struggle with this b/c my questions were so overwhelming. But I am finding as I simply seek God, seek His presence, seek His voice, seek His face...that the questions are not nearly as important any more. All I care about is being with my precious Savior and loving Him and fulfilling the purpose He gave me.
I am so blessed. I could sit here and choose to count the bad things in my life...my weaknesses, my faults, my shortcomings, my wants, my needs.... but I choose to count my blessings (cliche I know!). I have so many that when I start really thanking God for them, everything else just seems to disappear.
He is the potter, I am the clay. May I ever be moldable in to the image of God. Like Michaelangelo saw the masterpiece in a block of stone that later became the masterpiece David, God sees through the junk in my life and wants to bring out the masterpiece that He uniquely created in me. He has so much for my life. I can't sit and dwell on things I have no control over.
Be blessed!
Marti
Thursday, April 26, 2012
And the beat goes on...
There are only 14 1/2 school days left. For real...where did the year go??? This has been an AMAZING year. I am SO incredibly blessed. Last year was a real challenge and I prayed for a great year this year and I got it. I'm so going to miss my amazing little 2nd graders. They're such a great group of kids! I am truly blessed.
Well the weight loss/get fit journey continues. Four weeks ago I added CrossFit to my workout regimen. I am SOOOO addicted! Each workout literally kicks my butt and I seriously don't know how I'll even be able to drive home, but I feel SO GREAT! I'm down a total of 28 lb since the end of December. I've also been consistently walking about 3 miles a day, even on CrossFit days. I started measuring on April 2. I measured this morning and I've lost about an inch every where but really have only lost a couple of pounds. I haven't been able to do Zumba since I started CrossFit b/c they are at the same time but I'd like to work it out this summer so I can do both. I feel great, even when my muscles are shaking. :) This has been such a great addition to my life! I love challenging myself and pushing and then looking back when I'm done and having that sense of accomplishment. I DID IT. Thanks to Jenn and Allie for constantly pushing me and not letting me give up!
On top of all of this working out, I'm staying busy at the end of the school year and gearing up for Guatemala. It is rapidly approaching. I still have about $350 to raise so please pray that comes in by May 16th!
While I've had some disapointments and personal setbacks over the past couple of weeks, I'm really excited about this summer and what God is doing in and through me. I'm looking forward to ministering and just relaxing and hanging out with friends.
Well the weight loss/get fit journey continues. Four weeks ago I added CrossFit to my workout regimen. I am SOOOO addicted! Each workout literally kicks my butt and I seriously don't know how I'll even be able to drive home, but I feel SO GREAT! I'm down a total of 28 lb since the end of December. I've also been consistently walking about 3 miles a day, even on CrossFit days. I started measuring on April 2. I measured this morning and I've lost about an inch every where but really have only lost a couple of pounds. I haven't been able to do Zumba since I started CrossFit b/c they are at the same time but I'd like to work it out this summer so I can do both. I feel great, even when my muscles are shaking. :) This has been such a great addition to my life! I love challenging myself and pushing and then looking back when I'm done and having that sense of accomplishment. I DID IT. Thanks to Jenn and Allie for constantly pushing me and not letting me give up!
On top of all of this working out, I'm staying busy at the end of the school year and gearing up for Guatemala. It is rapidly approaching. I still have about $350 to raise so please pray that comes in by May 16th!
While I've had some disapointments and personal setbacks over the past couple of weeks, I'm really excited about this summer and what God is doing in and through me. I'm looking forward to ministering and just relaxing and hanging out with friends.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
I wish I knew how to do really cool blog stuff...
Hiking at Busiek 3/11/12
18 lb down!Can someone please teach me how to really rev up my blog and do cool stuff with it? I'm so inept.
I just finished Hunger Games (the first book, not the trilogy). It leaves me rather depressed and melancholy tonight. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVED the book, but i'm feeling blue now! Maybe I should start the second book to keep me going. ha. STinkin' addictive books!
Many years ago I felt a burden that I would someday adopt a little boy from Guatemala. It's been a dream and a passion now for years. This year, I will have the opportunity to travel to Guatemala and work with Shadow of His Wings orphanage. I am SO EXCITED about this opportunity and pray it leads to many more. I absolutely love missions. I wish I could travel the world working with different groups sharing the love of Jesus with people. This morning I had nursery but I was listening to the sermon. It was missions Sunday. Listening to the missionaries speak, watching a slide show of missionaries our church supports flash on the screen, hearing stories of both difficult times and triumph...it gets my heart going! I have loved and supported missions since I was a little girl. It's difficult to even put into words because it such a passion and a burden. I just feel so blessed that God has chosen and called me to be a part of the bigger "kingdom" picture. First Cambodia, then Ireland and now Guatemala. I'm so blessed!
This will be a big week for me. After years of battling sinus infection after sinus infection, I am having sinus surgery. Up until a day or two ago I really hadn't thought much about it. I've been so busy that I've given it little thought. Now though, the quicker it approaches, the more nervous I am. I have had surgery before but something about them working in my facial area really bothers me. That's a little too close for comfort. There's a line in Anne of Green Gables where Anne makes a comment about her lovely nose and how she's been complimented for her nose. My nose is something I've often received compliments on. I have my cute little Netteler nose. :) I don't want anyone messing with it! The problem though lies in the "little" part of the nose. It's too small inside and there's not enough room for stuff to drain so they have to make room. I'm also concerned about the recovery. I've heard it can be pretty brutal. Praying for quick painless healing. I very much appreciate your prayers.
I've taken up a few new things lately. I tried contra dancing and loved it. I tried Bali dancing, sort of. That's not my thing. I do love Zumba though. I totally suck at it. My body DOES NOT move like that...but I work hard and do the best I can and just have fun. I really enjoy it. I've also taken up hiking. Wow, now that's addicting! I've gone twice and just had a blast, plus had a great workout. In total, I've lost 18 lb. I probalby would have lost more if I hadn't eaten that Mexican and ice cream after my last hiking adventure! ha. Tomorrow I'm going to give CrossFit a try. It should be interesting! I may be taking the sinus surgery pain meds for back pain after all this working out!
I'm also very thankful for my Life Group and friends God has placed in my life lately. I've been praying for a good group of friends that are my age and in my stage of life for awhile and God has blessed me abundantly with that. I love my friends!
If anyone is interested in donating towards my trip to Guatemala, shoot me a message on Facebook. I am doing A LOT of babysitting to try to raise funds. I am having a garage sale and some other awesome things have come up to raise money as well. I have a very short time to raise it in! I, again, appreciate your prayers as I come up with the money and prepare for this trip.
God bless!
Marti
I just finished Hunger Games (the first book, not the trilogy). It leaves me rather depressed and melancholy tonight. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVED the book, but i'm feeling blue now! Maybe I should start the second book to keep me going. ha. STinkin' addictive books!
Many years ago I felt a burden that I would someday adopt a little boy from Guatemala. It's been a dream and a passion now for years. This year, I will have the opportunity to travel to Guatemala and work with Shadow of His Wings orphanage. I am SO EXCITED about this opportunity and pray it leads to many more. I absolutely love missions. I wish I could travel the world working with different groups sharing the love of Jesus with people. This morning I had nursery but I was listening to the sermon. It was missions Sunday. Listening to the missionaries speak, watching a slide show of missionaries our church supports flash on the screen, hearing stories of both difficult times and triumph...it gets my heart going! I have loved and supported missions since I was a little girl. It's difficult to even put into words because it such a passion and a burden. I just feel so blessed that God has chosen and called me to be a part of the bigger "kingdom" picture. First Cambodia, then Ireland and now Guatemala. I'm so blessed!
This will be a big week for me. After years of battling sinus infection after sinus infection, I am having sinus surgery. Up until a day or two ago I really hadn't thought much about it. I've been so busy that I've given it little thought. Now though, the quicker it approaches, the more nervous I am. I have had surgery before but something about them working in my facial area really bothers me. That's a little too close for comfort. There's a line in Anne of Green Gables where Anne makes a comment about her lovely nose and how she's been complimented for her nose. My nose is something I've often received compliments on. I have my cute little Netteler nose. :) I don't want anyone messing with it! The problem though lies in the "little" part of the nose. It's too small inside and there's not enough room for stuff to drain so they have to make room. I'm also concerned about the recovery. I've heard it can be pretty brutal. Praying for quick painless healing. I very much appreciate your prayers.
I've taken up a few new things lately. I tried contra dancing and loved it. I tried Bali dancing, sort of. That's not my thing. I do love Zumba though. I totally suck at it. My body DOES NOT move like that...but I work hard and do the best I can and just have fun. I really enjoy it. I've also taken up hiking. Wow, now that's addicting! I've gone twice and just had a blast, plus had a great workout. In total, I've lost 18 lb. I probalby would have lost more if I hadn't eaten that Mexican and ice cream after my last hiking adventure! ha. Tomorrow I'm going to give CrossFit a try. It should be interesting! I may be taking the sinus surgery pain meds for back pain after all this working out!
I'm also very thankful for my Life Group and friends God has placed in my life lately. I've been praying for a good group of friends that are my age and in my stage of life for awhile and God has blessed me abundantly with that. I love my friends!
If anyone is interested in donating towards my trip to Guatemala, shoot me a message on Facebook. I am doing A LOT of babysitting to try to raise funds. I am having a garage sale and some other awesome things have come up to raise money as well. I have a very short time to raise it in! I, again, appreciate your prayers as I come up with the money and prepare for this trip.
God bless!
Marti
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Rant/Challenge
Okay, so I am going to attempt to put a bunch of frustrations and personal things (without being too personal) into a tactful and heartfelt blog. It's late, but this has been on my heart for awhile and I just need to get it out there.
I am fat.
Or, if you so choose, you can use the word obese, overweight, big, large, plus sized or "one who doesn't take care of herself." (The last being a personal "favorite"-insert sarcasm).
I have attempted a number of online dating sites, both Christian and non. I haven't had any success and I'm fine with that. I want God's best for my life and so far I haven't met him. God has given me an amazing peace that the one He has for me is out there and I'm waiting on God to orchestrate all the details necessary to make that happen. I have peace!
So here's my beef. I am so tired of the excuse "guys are visual." I know that guys are, but I also think that guys overuse this an excuse to mask their own insecurities and issues in order to find their perfect trophy wife to make themselves look good. Christian guys...you are by far the worst, hands down. If I hear one more pastor exclaim from the pulpit, facebook or any other public forum that they have a "smokin' hot wife" I think I might spew vomit at them. It's as if you need a "smokin' hot wife" to validate your weaknesses and insecurities. She has to make you look good and if she doesn't look a certain way then you somehow do not look as good. Woah, that was a side rant...didnt even intend on going there...but I did and I'm not erasing it.
I have seen profile after profile after profile of guys who sound magnificent. They are all about their relationship with God, blah blah blah...and then you get to the bottom of their profile and there is ALWAYS a bottom note "By the way, I'm not into plus size girls" or "I don't do big girls so if you are big don't message me." Or "I will only date girls who take care of themselves."
Now, just to set the record straight, I do believe 100% that there has to be an attraction and compatibility. I also believe that the attraction grows over time. I am a "friends first" kinda girl, which may explain my relationship status...and that's okay because I dont want to rush in to a physical/physically attractive only relationship only to find out the guy is a complete loser and we can't carry on a conversation or he eats with his mouth open or something horrible like that. True long lasting attraction grows over time. Sure you have your initial attraction, but when the make up wears off or you see her 9 months pregnant or doesn't lose the baby weight...or bald with cancer... you have to have more than a physical attraction. Christian guys...it's time to stop looking at only her outside and start loving her for what she is on the inside. Stop holding her up to the world's unrealistic standards and hold her to God's standards and see her for who she is...a most precious daughter of the king.
When I look in a mirror I see my sassy fun hair cut, I see my "sexy" eyes (according to my BFF), I see my Netteler nose and my good teeth with as my sister says "full kissing lips". I love make up and dressing nicely (and I also love my pink comfy sweatpants and old tshirts). I see a smile that comes from my heart. I see someone who is passionate about the Lord and fulfilling His will in her life. I see someone who has an intense love for kids and the passion to see them grow and be world changers wherever they go. I see someone who is passionate about music and using it to glorify God. I see someone who is loved deeply by friends and family and 23 2nd graders. I see someone who has a heart for missions. I see a daughter of amazing parents, a sister to two awesome sisters, an aunt to 7 nieces and nepnews... and most importantly a daughter of the King. I am loved by God! What an awesome feeling!
Then I notice the fat. And somehow, I let that dominate all of the above b/c of some jerk's profiles on an onilne dating site or something a guy (or three) has said to me in the past about my weight. Shame on me and shame on you guys for allowing women to feel like they are worthless because of a number on a scale.
Obviously, as previously blogged, I am trying to lose weight. It is an uphill battle. I will never be skinny. My goal is to be healthy. I am healthy currently and I do take care of myself, but I am also overweight. I know that I have to work hard to maintain my health and do my best to lose weight. I have been eating healthy for 8 weeks. The last 3 weeks, despite healthy eating, I have gained 6 lb (of the 16 I lost). I dont' know why but I'm going to keep doing my best to be the best me I can physically. I am also doing my best to be all I can spiritually.
In the mean time, i have deactivated all online dating accounts. It's time to remove the rubbish from my life that brings me down. I'm also removing rubbish in the form of people that can't love me for me or have an issue with my weight. I don't have room for that in my life.
I challenge everyone (myself included), to start seeing what God sees. This applies in ALL relatinoships. Men (especially Christian)- It's time to stop getting hung up on her outer appearance (good or bad!) and fall in love with her heart. I am sitting here thinking of times I judged based off of appearance but then realized there was an amazing person underneath. I once judged a girl who was incredibly beautiful. I was seriously intimidated because of her beauty. Over time, we became good friends and I got to know the amazing woman of God behind the outer beauty; so this works in all areas, not just weight. On the flip side I have had friends who were incredibly beautiful and seemed to have it all together, but when I got to know them realized they were a mess with loads of baggage and issues. Beauty can only cover that for so long.
Take your blinders off and look at the heart. Weight is really the least of your concerns.
Okay, I feel better now that that's out on paper. :)
I am fat.
Or, if you so choose, you can use the word obese, overweight, big, large, plus sized or "one who doesn't take care of herself." (The last being a personal "favorite"-insert sarcasm).
I have attempted a number of online dating sites, both Christian and non. I haven't had any success and I'm fine with that. I want God's best for my life and so far I haven't met him. God has given me an amazing peace that the one He has for me is out there and I'm waiting on God to orchestrate all the details necessary to make that happen. I have peace!
So here's my beef. I am so tired of the excuse "guys are visual." I know that guys are, but I also think that guys overuse this an excuse to mask their own insecurities and issues in order to find their perfect trophy wife to make themselves look good. Christian guys...you are by far the worst, hands down. If I hear one more pastor exclaim from the pulpit, facebook or any other public forum that they have a "smokin' hot wife" I think I might spew vomit at them. It's as if you need a "smokin' hot wife" to validate your weaknesses and insecurities. She has to make you look good and if she doesn't look a certain way then you somehow do not look as good. Woah, that was a side rant...didnt even intend on going there...but I did and I'm not erasing it.
I have seen profile after profile after profile of guys who sound magnificent. They are all about their relationship with God, blah blah blah...and then you get to the bottom of their profile and there is ALWAYS a bottom note "By the way, I'm not into plus size girls" or "I don't do big girls so if you are big don't message me." Or "I will only date girls who take care of themselves."
Now, just to set the record straight, I do believe 100% that there has to be an attraction and compatibility. I also believe that the attraction grows over time. I am a "friends first" kinda girl, which may explain my relationship status...and that's okay because I dont want to rush in to a physical/physically attractive only relationship only to find out the guy is a complete loser and we can't carry on a conversation or he eats with his mouth open or something horrible like that. True long lasting attraction grows over time. Sure you have your initial attraction, but when the make up wears off or you see her 9 months pregnant or doesn't lose the baby weight...or bald with cancer... you have to have more than a physical attraction. Christian guys...it's time to stop looking at only her outside and start loving her for what she is on the inside. Stop holding her up to the world's unrealistic standards and hold her to God's standards and see her for who she is...a most precious daughter of the king.
When I look in a mirror I see my sassy fun hair cut, I see my "sexy" eyes (according to my BFF), I see my Netteler nose and my good teeth with as my sister says "full kissing lips". I love make up and dressing nicely (and I also love my pink comfy sweatpants and old tshirts). I see a smile that comes from my heart. I see someone who is passionate about the Lord and fulfilling His will in her life. I see someone who has an intense love for kids and the passion to see them grow and be world changers wherever they go. I see someone who is passionate about music and using it to glorify God. I see someone who is loved deeply by friends and family and 23 2nd graders. I see someone who has a heart for missions. I see a daughter of amazing parents, a sister to two awesome sisters, an aunt to 7 nieces and nepnews... and most importantly a daughter of the King. I am loved by God! What an awesome feeling!
Then I notice the fat. And somehow, I let that dominate all of the above b/c of some jerk's profiles on an onilne dating site or something a guy (or three) has said to me in the past about my weight. Shame on me and shame on you guys for allowing women to feel like they are worthless because of a number on a scale.
Obviously, as previously blogged, I am trying to lose weight. It is an uphill battle. I will never be skinny. My goal is to be healthy. I am healthy currently and I do take care of myself, but I am also overweight. I know that I have to work hard to maintain my health and do my best to lose weight. I have been eating healthy for 8 weeks. The last 3 weeks, despite healthy eating, I have gained 6 lb (of the 16 I lost). I dont' know why but I'm going to keep doing my best to be the best me I can physically. I am also doing my best to be all I can spiritually.
In the mean time, i have deactivated all online dating accounts. It's time to remove the rubbish from my life that brings me down. I'm also removing rubbish in the form of people that can't love me for me or have an issue with my weight. I don't have room for that in my life.
I challenge everyone (myself included), to start seeing what God sees. This applies in ALL relatinoships. Men (especially Christian)- It's time to stop getting hung up on her outer appearance (good or bad!) and fall in love with her heart. I am sitting here thinking of times I judged based off of appearance but then realized there was an amazing person underneath. I once judged a girl who was incredibly beautiful. I was seriously intimidated because of her beauty. Over time, we became good friends and I got to know the amazing woman of God behind the outer beauty; so this works in all areas, not just weight. On the flip side I have had friends who were incredibly beautiful and seemed to have it all together, but when I got to know them realized they were a mess with loads of baggage and issues. Beauty can only cover that for so long.
Take your blinders off and look at the heart. Weight is really the least of your concerns.
Okay, I feel better now that that's out on paper. :)
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Lose it!
Here is a picture taken after I lost 9 lb. I'll take more as I go.
Well, I'm greatly enjoying my new Kindle Touch. I have read two books and read a devotional on there as well. Love it! With the ole arthritis in the hands, it's so much easier to handle than a book. Yeah, I sound like I'm 80.
Well, here it is, January 29th...already. It really feels more like March with this unseasonly warm weather. Let me tell ya, it's wreaking HAVOC upon my sinuses. If you know me at all, you know I HATE snow...but I'm really hoping for one REALLY GOOD snow. Like 2 days out of school snow. I do love a good snow day. THose are days when you feel absolutely no pressure to work. It's completely acceptable to stay in your PJ's all day and eat junk and watch girly movies. Ahhh...I REALLY want a good snow day! :)
Well, I'm greatly enjoying my new Kindle Touch. I have read two books and read a devotional on there as well. Love it! With the ole arthritis in the hands, it's so much easier to handle than a book. Yeah, I sound like I'm 80.
For a few months I've been battling the "weight" issue. Well, I've been battling it my whole life, but it's really gotten me down the last few months. In 2009, I lost 35 lb. I have gained every lb back. On December 30th, I started using an app called Lose It. It helps determine how many calories you can consume to lose 2 lb a week. I heard great things about it from others so I started using it. I was amazed at how many calories I was consuming on a normal day. I'm not sure when/how I got back to being that "bad," but it happened and it's time to take charge. SO...here we go again with trying to lose weight. This time, I'm not going all extreme though. I'm just doing calorie counting and exercise when I can. When I started counting calories, I packed up all of my clothes that were too small and they sit in two boxes in my bedroom floor. Those boxes sit there as a reminder that I WILL wear them again and I'm tired of them sitting in my floor.
The first week I was hungry a lot, until I went shopping and started buying healthier food with lower calories. I learned I can eat a lot more if I buy healthier lower calorie options.
The first week, I lost 7 lb. The 2nd week, I lost 1, the third, nothing, and then the 4th 2. I'm on the fifth week and I've lost 3...that's a total of 13 lb!
I have also started a detox this week. That's....fun... (not!).
While I have yet to bust out of the "too small" clothes boxes in my bedroom floor, I am feeling MUCH more comfortable in my clothes. When I lost weight before, I got down to a size 18. I was back in a loose 24 in December. Right now, my 24's are swallowing me and 22's are fitting just right. Another 10 lb and I should be able to start opening the boxes and pulling out 20's.
It feels good to be doing this. I'm tired of looking and feeling this way. There are multiple reasons I am doing this. I am not looking to be skinny, I am looking to be healthy and to be fit. I do very little for myself. This is something I am doing for ME. My first goal is to lose 35 lb. I've got 22 to go! I'll set a new goal after 35. I figure I need to lose about 85-100 total, so I'll go in small increments. Right now, my exercise is minimal and I'm thinking the more I lose the more I'll have to start exercising.
So this is my new weight loss journey.
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